Friday 23 May 2014

I WANT TO SHARE WITH SOMEBODY... my quiet time with Jesus this morning.

I WANT TO SHARE WITH SOMEBODY… my quiet time with Jesus this morning.
(The black writing is from the Bible. The blue writing is me talking to Jesus.)
JOHN 8
A Woman Caught in Adultery
1 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2but early the next morning He was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and He sat down and taught them.
I know what time it is, Jesus; I know where You are; I know what you are doing. The scene is set for the next event.
3As He was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.
I wonder what her story is? An abusive husband? Did this lover thing happen over a period of time before she gave in to him? Was it a man who showed kindness to her? Was it maybe her husband’s family? His Brother? Was it someone from the market place? Who was he? How was she caught? Was she raped by this man and set up? Only Jesus knows.
4”Teacher”, they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
You say “Your sins are forgiven, go and sin no more.” Lord, I am still caught in ‘adultery’. When I give more time to my computer, or when my thoughts grieve Holy Spirit, or when I don’t speak up when I should and when I speak when I should be silent. When I am unloving to my husband, or when … Jesus, forgive me. The ‘stones’ meant for me were already thrown at You on the cross. Thank You.
We are so quick to stone someone. You said in Matthew 18:22 for us to forgive seventy times seven.
5They were trying to trap Him into saying something they could use against Him,
Yes, it is Jesus and Christianity that is attacked when a Christian falls.
but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with His finger.
How strange, Jesus, that you do not answer but write in the sand with Your finger. “It is written!” ? The pause before the answer? The pause and writing is the answer?
Like Satan quoted the Bible to you in the desert, Jesus, so they are quoting Moses’ law to You. Moses the man of God.
Jesus, you could be writing in the sand “Man shall not live on bread alone but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” Matthew 4:4. Jesus, you are the word of God who came to put the new covenant in to the law of Moses. The law of God is to love the Lord our God and our neighbour; to forgive 70x7; to turn the other cheek; to repay evil with good; to leave the judgement to God; to bless those who curse you, to …
7They kept demanding an answer
It is a long pause here with you stooping down and writing in the sand.
so He stood up again and said, “All right (You agree with them, a sin is a sin BUT) but let the one who had never sinned throw the first stone!”
This answer makes me cry! It hits me as a sinner and it hits me as an accuser. Jesus, thank you so much.
8Then He stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
Oh the heart of God! It is written! The new covenant in Jesus’ blood! Know Jesus and you know God. “If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know Him and have seen Him” John 14:7. Father God, thank you for your goodness, your love and your faithfulness. I can live because my redeemer lives.
9When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, ( I am here.) until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman.
Alone: Jesus and the sinner. What do I say to You?
“Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge” Psalm 51:4.
10Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
11”No Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
Because of You, Jesus, I am now also a child of God. How do I thank You? I have nothing except what You give me. I can’t even give back to You what you give to me, if You don’t enable me. In You I have everything I need.
Thank You Father God, thank You Jesus, thank You Holy Spirit.
 



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Monday 19 May 2014

Cancer 10 days of knowing and not knowing.

The Lord is always writing new testimonies in my life and just gets more and more dear and real to me. We serve an awesome God, and those are not just words.  I was diagnosed with cancer in the womb and I have ‘seen’ heaven’s door open (from descriptions in the Bible).  Hebrews 12: 22-24
The fear that it might have gone through the wall of the womb was extinguished after the hysterectomy results yesterday. The verses which I held out to Jesus in the throne room were all materialized.
Psalm 144:14 “May there be no enemy breaking through our walls.” (I prayed that the cancer would not have broken through the wall of the uterus.)
Malachi 4:2 “But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.” (I had had a dream of hanging on to a very rocky peak mountain with all loose rocks but I was secure and not scared and was rescued. “He makes me surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights” Habakkuk 3:19.
John 11:4 the sickness was “For God’s glory, that God’s Son may be glorified through it” John 14:4.
“…for the Lord God fights for you, just as He has promised. So be very careful to love the Lord your God.” Joshua 23:10-11.
 
God brought me to the knowledge that dying would have been the ultimate healing; to be with Him and to see everything clearly. This rings so true for me: Philippians 1:21 “For to me, living means living for Christ (God chose this for me for now.) and dying is even better.” (for the time being, this is for later.)  So now I just want to get on and live out verse 22 “But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ.”
I wrote about the first part of this experience on my blog under diary. The hysterectomy that was done on Wednesday (30 April) and the results of the tests (5 May) are only written in my real diary, the diary next to the Bible where God and I have our discussions.  God set me free from the cancer.
My daughter came from London to care for me for 2 weeks until I have healed from the operation. I am healing in leaps and bounds.
I just wanted to share this with you. Just to put a light on where I am growing in Christ.
 
(So much more to share of Jesus’ wonderful presence while in hospital- watch this space!)
 
I do not share my sickness or my healing; I share Jesus!
I pray that you will know Him too!

The hospital stay
 
       

 
 3 Christians in a ward

The black ladies diabetes, the Indian ladies painful legs and the white ladies cancerous uterus brought the 3 together in one hospital ward.  All 3 are Christians.

I was there first. I was light from the heavy presence of the Holy Spirit. At this stage the cancer was a dominant ‘person’ mocking his possible invasion in to the rest of my body. I openly declared victory in death and life. Amen from my fellow Christians.

My two ‘inmates’ became larger than life as their pain and their lives became God’s priority. The throne rooms door opened and waited for the 3 of us to walk in. For a split second the remembrance of the ‘unchristian’ phone conversations of the Indian lady brought a flash against me from God’s throne.  I saw Luke 18: 9-14. The prayer of the Pharisee and Tax Collector.  I saw my cancer. If that Pharisee had had cancer, he would not have been proud in prayer. One person is not more knowledgeable before God than another. God meets us where we are.   I prayed:

 

Father, we come to You today; a black lady, an Indian lady and a white lady. And You, Lord, through Jesus’ blood, only see 3 Jesus ladies standing before You.

We come to ask for healing. The diabetic, the painful legs and the possible cancer.

We come in Your name, and we go in Your name. Take us Lord and be glorified in these 3 lives.

Let Jesus live and talk through us so that others will see and hear and believe.

I pray in Jesus name.

Amen.

Even there in hospital the diversity of our beautiful country brought joy to my life. These precious individuals moving from bed to bed cleaning, nursing and smiling as a profession. God is good.
 
I tugged then all in to my prayer diary for there and now. One special prayer that jumped on the front cover is for Lindelani Khoza.  Mrs Koza’s (the diabetic) heart is crying for his salvation and freedom in Christ. 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2)  Oh yes, I did. My sickness surely glorified God.  Well almost. Two not nice occasions when it was plain to see that my strength is from God and not from me.

Despair, hid under my bed and put on its suction and almost pulled me through the mattress like a heap of dirt. It was when I took my eyes off Jesus. What if there is no Jesus and I die and I don’t go to be with Him? I cried out to Him. “Lord, what do you do with your children that doubt?”  The same as he did to Thomas in John 2:27. He will show me his nail pierced hand and let me touch it with my finger. And if I need more prove he will put my finger in to his side.  He will never leave me. He has made provision for my weaknesses and His Holy Spirit will always be there to guide me in such a real way as for me to exclaim “My Lord and my God!”
 

People with a hospital chart like mine had no place in hospital. So my doctor ordered me out of the hospital one day sooner.

The arrival at home was not a happy one. Easter, my dog, wanted to get in under my skin and I wanted to hide in the cubbyhole of the car. With her locked up I could shuffle up to the house and the bedroom.  Then, one hairs width away from running and jumping on to my wounded tummy I screamed out. The scream stopped her in time for me to put a pillow in front and for Peter to expect my intestines to be lying on the floor. Panic and shock and pandemonium. I should have been in hospital.

No matter which direction I approached my bed from the pain would get me as I tried to get on or off.

Then Kim arrived from London the next day and the world was all sunny and healthy and nothing was too much. I even ventured in to the car and sat through the bumps to go and make my voters mark. It was a good feeling voting for the Christian party.

 

 

 



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