Friday, 28 November 2014

"Where to, Bongani, where to?"

“Where to, Bongani, where to?”

Bongani is like his foot; wave beaten, rock scarred, gnarled and unlovely to look at. The leg attached to the sand clad foot was stiff and rebellious to his walk. The walking stick did little to fasten his pace.  I could tell that the rubbish bins did not produce much breakfast due to the rain.

These observations made me put my car in to heart gear. Then Bongani was sitting next to me, together with empathy and Jesus love. “Where to, Bongani, where to?”

Bongani bought his bread and something else I could not see. I don’t think he used the R20 I gave him. The bush-shops ‘pain killers’ will take that later.

We sat in comparative silence on the way back to Bongani’s bushes. It was his garden I walked in every day. The sand in my car and his feet were the same sand. My bed was warm and dry, his not.

I put my hand on his shoulder. I wanted him to know I was there for him. I wanted to take him to a doctor with his foot and leg.  But Bongani has more missing than his teeth. He did not understand. “Jesus loves you, Bongani” I said anyway. He held the little children’s Bible in his hand as he wobbled around trying to get his sandal on the one foot.

Two joggers looked shocked to see my cargo unloading.

These are my bush people. I love them because Jesus loved them first.

I remembered the bleeding woman who touched Jesus’ robe to heal (Matthew 9:19-22). That touch.

Jesus can still be touched. Jesus still touches. Jesus still drives the streets. Jesus wears what you and I wear. Jesus in us. Jesus love you in a way no other person could ever love you.


The pictures: Not Bongani. Two other beach-friendly friends of mine.

[tags Where to?, unlovely, rebellious, rubbish, breakfast, empathy, love, Jesus love, pain killers, bushes, beach, touched]

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The Three thoughts

3 power thoughts as I have an early morning quiet time walk with Jesus on the beach.
(Always I read my Bible and sometimes I read the sea.) Between God and me.
Early walk.
1..  So many rushing thoughts. Wanting’s from me. Wanting those verses about God’s riches; wanting that Presence through deeds and words pouring through my brain and out to the world.
Like those ever moving urgent waves pushing and breaking – giving to the last drop, pressing and sinking in to the edge of the world. Back again: joining, being, doing, breaking and riding the praises of action and white foam fruits. Bearing them with much ado about everything that is God. To God, from God, with God, in God.
Move with God’s ocean until the tide leads you to still waters – stripped of sound and stir.
Never to be underestimated in power and strength by the feet that step in the meek water rest. Look beyond; this still puddle has the backup of an ocean, ready to rise to any occasion. Bring on the waves. Ride them to the glory of God.
2.. Another thought on the litter left behind on the beach.
People passing spilled their guts,
Speaking trash that made their cut.
All this rubbish, what a shame
Alcohol bottles left their stain, 
It’s this country, shoot it down,
I am spotless watch my crown.
I was there the day before
Seeing Jesus’ handle door.
Saw these people find escape
Blind to truth and Jesus’ drapes.
Prayed their hand the bottle miss
Grip the handle to perfect bliss.
Then with Jesus there to dine
Washed away litter, the story sublime.
No one set them litter free
If no one tells them how can they be?
Jesus send me this I know
My sign says God bless you
          let the litter go.
Read between the lines I pray
Jesus loves you He is the only way.
Don’t complain, do something! So I did something. No one taught these people not to litter! No one taught me how not to litter with my punctuation and grammar! Come on, back off with accusations,
that is cruel, give us a lesson of love on how to apply this rule. So this aunty in her state, brought forth words to which I can relate. Words resting on a wall, showing love where litter falls.
[If they rip the sign off too; the back reads: Jesus loves you (anyway)!)]
3.. Another thought
… And as for the action towards the lovely 4 young men drinking and ‘music-ing’; I won’t tell! I want my reward in Heaven.  After Jesus had embraced them, I want to be there to throw my welcome arms around them too.  I love You so very much Jesus. You heard my prayers before the creation begun, and because Your hearing is timeless, You put their names in to the book of life.
Praise and thank God for our Saviour, His Son, Jesus who brings us in to the presence of God.

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Thursday, 20 November 2014

Cast your burdens unto Jesus, He cares for you. (Between God me.)

Between God and me.

20 November 2014

Lord, I must stand in Your presence in Your throne room. I feel I must stand under a long hot shower there by You. I need the water to fall on some aching spirit muscles to bring new life.

I am so tired of people. Not ugly tired but not nice tired. Despondent? If You were human You would be despondent of me.

Firstly, no, this is nonsense, I am ashamed to say it. Please take away the lie from the devil. But I must say it to You, Lord, You see my thoughts anyway. I made 8 more gifts yesterday. Thank you very much for bringing more children. Thank You that I am prepared for 7 extra children as well.  All the gifts and the party cost me, Lord.   How do I count the cost when I am working for You!!!!! Hear me Lord, let me hear You. Take this money I had spent on this end- year celebration as the oil the woman poured over on Your feet and head, Jesus. Let it be a sweet aroma here on earth and there in heaven. Thank you for Your throne room where I can hear Your voice. I love You so very, very much. Look, my moan was a lie from the devil. Lord it is truly a blessing. Praise Your holy name. Amen.

Did I have other moans? Well, Jesus, I pray. I want it to be a fervent prayer so You can hear me and so I can see as clearly as the above ‘moan’ that You have Your loving hand in this young person’s life. Lord, You see that ‘problem’. Oh God, what must I do? What must she do? Take over, Jesus. I gave everything I could think of to make it go away. Is it a health problem maybe? I am not good at praying for healing. But in Jesus name I pray that You heal that problem coming from some malfunctioning  part. Intervene, Lord, and let us praise Your name. And, Lord, please provide a work for her. In Jesus name.  Forgive me for being tired of driving her to playschool and back every day. Give me Your joy and let me thank and praise You for allowing me the privilege of bringing a smile to a person You made different and care for. Bring healing to this precious teenager for all the insults she endured. Everything comes to pass.

“Be good to your servant” (Psalm 119:17).

Did I not just pray this? Did You not just show me You are so good to me. Thank You.

“That I may live and obey Your word”

Is this not my daily prayer? Let it be true in my life. Thank You that I could take Anita to her tuck-shop every morning and afternoon, while her car was broken. Thank You so very much, Jesus, for knowing how tired all this driving made me and for giving me such a good night’s sleep last night. From 6pm to 4am! Never slept that long. You saw my tiredness and wrapped me in Your loving rest. Ps 23 “He makes me lie down in green pastures; …still waters ….restores my soul;” I have so much to thank You for.

PS Thank you for my car Manna, which was a gift from You from my sister. Thank you. Bless every person who climbs inside or even looks at it. Manna, the sandy, doggy, beach car.


“Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in Your instructions” Psalm 119:18).

You just did. How I praise and thank You!!!


Lord, let me never ever say no to You.





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Monday, 17 November 2014

Negativity; it's a no for me. Talking to God.

God, I wish others could see what You do for me in the Bible. But when I want to tell them or show them and want to put it on my blog, it is not the same.

The bubble is gone. In quiet time hours You encircle me in holy Spirit’s wonder bubble, and we are together: Human woman and God. When others see it the bubble is gone and the words are bare. Holiness walls are running away like a liquid without substance. 

Lord, give Holy Spirit to them so you can capture the forever. I don’t want passing ships in the night acquaintances. I want to pass Your seeds to everyone that crosses my path. I want You to grow it and cause it to be watered, right there in their hearts.

Lovely people with hearts so set in stone. Eyes become a glass door when You are mentioned.  Some have open moments, but the grossness of life since birth has engraved a pattern that spews anger. My prayer is, Jesus, you will fill these hearts with forgiveness and love and their mouths will be the evidence of what you have done.

Get people to run to you with the negative. You, Lord, are my rubbish dump. I take my moans to you. I have seen you turn it to beauty; over and over again. I learnt this from David in the Psalms. He took his trash to You and ended up in praise. Always hope in Your presence, and always Your presence following us as we leave the throne room.

So important to feed our minds and bodies with a positive. Not to waste time watching or reading things that has no eternal value. This is how you hide Gods word in Your heart; by eating and drinking with Him continuously.

Max Lucado says in his book Traveling Light; “God changes the ‘n’ into a ‘v’. You go from lonely to lovely.”


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Saturday, 11 October 2014

Change Your World through Prayer


I know that prayer is natural conversation with our Heavenly Father, but sometimes it is hard to pray or hard to make 'contact'. This is a prayer I dig out in times like these or just because I want to organise my praise and communication with my Lord in the throne room.
Here follows direct extracts from the book Change Your World Through Prayer by Bennie Mostert.

(All print in blue is my personal interruption and not in the book.)


The following is a short synopsis of each of the 12 aspects of prayer.


1. PRAISE is an act of commitment to God. Through praise we acknowledge God for who He is, exalt Him with our words, our whole being and our attitude, in prayer. All prayer should start with praise. Psalm 115:1 says: “Not to us, O lord, not to us but to Your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.” We praise Him for His name, His justice, love, holiness, omnipotence, greatness, faithfulness, His Word, His Creation, His redemption, etc. You can for instance, use a different theme each time in this time span of praise and worship. Expand on this theme as much as possible, meditate on it, weigh the practical implications of it on your life and the lives of others. Watch out, thought, for a mere repetition of words. (Make your own praise notebook. Write down  praise words from the different Psalms. It is so handy to read them out loud in times of temptation, trials, attacks or just to glorify our Lord and draw near to Him.)


2.  WAITING  ON  THE   LORD is an act of silent love or adoration of God. It incorporates worship and praise to God for who He is. It is to worship God and to praise Him for who He is.

During this period of silence we tune in to (adjust ourselves to) God himself, we direct our whole being to Him and commit ourselves to Him anew. We rejoice in and over His presence. Psalm 46:10 says: “Be still and know that I am God.” We can say this is a very intimate form of communication between God and ourselves, it is I, as the limited (shackled) and finite being before God who is the Unlimited and Infinite Being. We make sure at this point that we are in contact with God. This time of contact with the Lord cannot be hurried, there is no place for impatience and haste here. During this time you think of nothing else but God the Father, His Son Jesus your redeemer and the Holy Spirit. You need not express your thoughts in words. Concentrate on your relationship with God and your love for Him.


3.  CONFESSION is the condition to admission to God. This is a time of self-examination (introspection) and allowing the Holy Spirit to point out any unconfessed sin to you. I acknowledge my sin and sinfulness before the Lord during this period; I confess my sin and turn my back on it; I break with my sin and accept the Lord’s forgiveness. Confession is the cleansing of the Christian. Sin builds a wall between us and God so that God cannot hear us (Isaiah 59: 1-2)

Our sins are paid for and forgiven solely through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ on the grounds of His death on the cross. I don’t ask God to change the circumstances during confession, but that He will forgive and change me. Confess each form of failure, negligence and sin.

4. PRAYING  SCRIPTURE – To be able to pray in a balanced way, I have to spend time in the Word. (Very important!)  I must get to know God’s promises and pray them to God. The promises of God create faith. In the first place the Bible is a book that has to be believed and obeyed. During this period I ask: “Lord, what promises can I make my own; what commands must I obey; what warnings must I pay attention to?” The Word is your prayer manual. (There are lots of examples of this on my blog. Go to the 'Read and Pray' tab.)  We must remind the Lord of His promises in His Word day and night. As you read Scripture, ask the Lord how to apply it in your life and in your prayer time. Your prayers must become quotations from Scripture more and more.


5. WATCHING – a time of spiritual perception (observation), to be spiritually aware of matters to pray for. It will lead to praying for the needs of others and some of your own needs. You tune into the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit specifically to draw your attention to specific matters, so that you can pray for them. Be especially wary and alert for the onslaughts of the Evil One during this time. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to show you the plans, methods, strongholds and strategies of the Evil One. Paul teaches us to watch and pray with thanksgiving: “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful” (Col. 4:2). Satan will certainly try to keep you from praying and confuse you so that you cannot concentrate. Be wary, rebuke and resist him.  Be sure to pray purposefully. What are the problems people experience while teaching the gospel? Pray for that. Are there things reported in the newspapers, things that we hear on the radio or see on TV that we should pray for; things like economic problems, political unrest, wars, etc.

6. INTERCESSION –to intercede for others, to pray for others. In intercession we concentrate on the needs and distress of others – we stand in the gap for someone else. Intercession is God’s method to get His children involved in His plan for the world. We become involved in world evangelization during intercession. When you intercede you stand at God’s side and you work with Him for the salvation or for the benefit of someone else. By faithful intercession you can do as much as those who are physically in the field. Work out a systematic plan for intercession, start with your own household and family, then your friends and church, then your town, your country and lastly the whole world. Every Christian should have a burden for lost souls and a world in need. Remember, the church of the Lord also needs intercession. Intercession is not only on behalf of unbelievers. Spiritual warfare is an element of intercessory prayer that deserves a specific place in our prayer time. Pray and ask the Lord to show you through the working of the Holy Spirit where the powers of evil are working. Binding evil forces in Jesus’ Name, break their strongholds and resists them. Resist the devil, don’t give him a hold in your life. Jesus conquered the Evil One on the cross. We as believers must proclaim His victory in each area of life.  Spiritual warfare will also be part of your prayer time during Watching and petition.


7.  PETITION for your personal needs. The believer may, and should come to his Father and pray for his own personal needs. And he can pray expectantly, even for the smallest things. During this period we pray for our “daily bread” and we also pray for spiritual strengthening and equipment for our lives and work as believers. I look to the Lord in total dependence to meet my needs. We must never ask out of selfishness. No, our requests must bring praise to our Father.  Anticipate what your needs are going to be during the day in this period and pray for them.

John Rice said: “Prayer is asking and receiving.” Tell the Lord why you ask these things from Him, thus ensuring that your intensions are pure. Come with frankness, as our Father wants to meet our needs gladly.

8. THANKSGIVING is to acknowledge your appreciation to the Lord for what He has done for you and others. During this period I thank God for who He is, His gifts, His answers to my prayers, His care and provision. Thank the Lord for spiritual, material, physical and any other blessings. Be specific in your thanksgiving and beware of generalizations. Tell the Lord you are grateful. Think about the day or days gone by and thank the Lord for everything which you have received from Him.


9. SONG is melodious worship. Song does not have to be used during communal worship only. The intercessor can sing his own (new) song to the Lord or make use of existing songs as circumstances determine. Song and spiritual warfare (our battle with the Evil One) are inextricably linked to each other. During this period one praises, worships, exalts and adores his Father in song. Your singing can take the form of praise songs, songs that testify to God’s power and grace, thanksgiving and songs about God’s Name.  To sing to the glory of the Lord is definitely a command from God (Psalm 100). Sing enthusiastically and heartily, because you are exalting God. The attitude of your heart and the fact that you are carrying out His instructions are of greater value to the Lord than whether you can sing beautifully or can sing in tune.


10. MEDITATION means to reflect upon or examine a matter more closely (deeply), to evaluate it spiritually. During this period I think about the Being and the nature of the Triune God, His creation and great deeds. You can use a portion of Scripture to reflect upon, a Psalm for instance, but also other portions. Christian meditation is the opposite of Eastern meditation. To the Christian, meditation is an active process of evaluation, searching and pondering, where he uses his full intellect and is led by Scripture and the Holy Spirit in his meditation. Meditation is to ponder in a discipline way. Beware that Satan does not plant his thoughts into your mind. Also beware of negative thoughts during this time. Consider everything that is true, pure, noble, right, beautiful and praiseworthy.  When you meditate on a certain portion of Scripture you must ask yourself, among other things, what this portion means to you.


11. LISTENING is a period during which you ask the Lord to reveal new things to you, things that He wants you to notice and pay attention to. You deliberately ask God to reveal His will and strategies/plans to you.  In waiting on the Lord the emphasis is on loving God. During meditation we want to learn more from God. During the period of listening we want to hear what God wants to say to us. During this period I ask: “Lord, what do you expect from me; what is your will for me?” You can also ask the Lord specific questions, perhaps some difficult questions that you do not have the answers to. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Write down all the thoughts that come from the Lord in your opinion, and put them to the test in the Scripture. Use them as directives for the execution of God’s command. Be careful not to say immediately that: “The Lord said this and that to me.” Always test if the Lord is still with you in the matter and be prepared to make a change of course, if necessary.


12.  WORSHIP, to exalt God and to say to Him: “I know who I am praying to and I trust Him with my prayers (supplications).” This is a period of jubilation before the lord. Let your amen be strong at the end and confirm this that you believe that God has heard you and will answer you. Amen means: it is true and sure, so shall it be.


This is it. The 12 ingredients of our prayers.  You never could think it this easy to spend an hour in prayer.  I sometimes carry the ‘5’ minutes with me and it becomes much longer as I do chores in the house to the praise music or walk with the songs in my heart. Each section can be an hour in itself if that is what we want to concentrate on.  Let us pray and prove our God is a living God who lives in our hearts.  We praise Him as we experience his love, which is stronger than anything else in this world. Jesus is King.

Friday, 26 September 2014


A beautiful story.
Enjoying Max Lucado’s The Angels were Silent. Is this not a beautiful story!
                                                                          Chapter 19
                                               THE  PEOPLE  WITH  THE  ROSES  
                               “Anything you did for even the least of my people here,
                                                  you also did for me” (Matthew 25:40).
John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn’t, the girl with the rose.
His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes pencilled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner’s name, Miss Hollis Maynell.
With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding.
Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn’t matter what she looked like.

When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting- 7:00 P.M. at Grand Central Station in New York. “You’ll recognize me,” she wrote, “by the red rose I’ll be wearing on my lapel.”

So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he’d never seen.

I’ll let Mr. Blancard tell you what happened.

A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small provocative smile curved her lips. “Going my way, sailor?” she murmured.

Almost uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell.

She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had greying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned mine and upheld my own.

And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her grey eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My finger gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful.

I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. “I’m Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?”

The woman’s face broadened into a tolerant smile. “I don’t know what this is about, son,” she answered, “but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!”

…Hollis Maynell, however, is far from the first person to gauge a heart by a person’s concern for the undesirable.
In the last sermon (Matthew 25:31-46) recorded by Matthew, Jesus does exactly that. …In his final discourse, he puts into words the very message he has put into actions, “Love for the least.”
… For when we do good things to others we do good things to God. Matthew 25:40
“He rewards those who truly want to find him” (Matthew 11:6b).

…the rejected of the world wear the roses. Sometimes we, like John Blanchard, have to adjust our expectations. Sometimes we have to re-examine our motives.
Had he turned his back on the unattractive, he would have missed the love of his life.
If we turn our backs, we will miss even more.

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Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Invitation to my Bluff friends.


Freedom in Christ


The morning Bible study of the Bluff Methodist church wishes to invite all denominations to join them in a discipleship course FREEDOM IN CHRIST (Neil Steve Anderson & Steve Goss). The course will be  starting on Thursday 4 September 2014 at 10am. The course will run for 13 weeks every Thursday morning at 10am at the Bluff Methodist church.

Corner Wesley & Pearce Roads, Bluff.

Tel: Church/office (031)4665542

Tel: Glenda Harper 083 623 8216


(Neil T Anderson, Steve Goss)

The Freedom in Christ Discipleship Course aims to help Christians grasp the truth of who they are in Christ, sort out personal and spiritual issues and become more fruitful in their discipleship. The course emphasizes personal responsibility and the need to make the right choices. The focus is very much on the individual.

What is it?

The Freedom in Christ Discipleship Course is comprised of thirteen sessions:

·        Where do I come from?

·        Who am I now?

·        Choosing to believe the truth.

·        The world's view of truth.

·        Our daily choice.

·        Demolishing strongholds.

·        The battle for our minds.

·        Handling emotions well.

·        Forgiving from the heart.

·        Walking in freedom every day.

·        Relating to others.

·        Where are you heading?

·        Staying on the right path.


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Friday, 23 May 2014

I WANT TO SHARE WITH SOMEBODY... my quiet time with Jesus this morning.

I WANT TO SHARE WITH SOMEBODY… my quiet time with Jesus this morning.
(The black writing is from the Bible. The blue writing is me talking to Jesus.)
A Woman Caught in Adultery
1 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2but early the next morning He was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and He sat down and taught them.
I know what time it is, Jesus; I know where You are; I know what you are doing. The scene is set for the next event.
3As He was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.
I wonder what her story is? An abusive husband? Did this lover thing happen over a period of time before she gave in to him? Was it a man who showed kindness to her? Was it maybe her husband’s family? His Brother? Was it someone from the market place? Who was he? How was she caught? Was she raped by this man and set up? Only Jesus knows.
4”Teacher”, they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
You say “Your sins are forgiven, go and sin no more.” Lord, I am still caught in ‘adultery’. When I give more time to my computer, or when my thoughts grieve Holy Spirit, or when I don’t speak up when I should and when I speak when I should be silent. When I am unloving to my husband, or when … Jesus, forgive me. The ‘stones’ meant for me were already thrown at You on the cross. Thank You.
We are so quick to stone someone. You said in Matthew 18:22 for us to forgive seventy times seven.
5They were trying to trap Him into saying something they could use against Him,
Yes, it is Jesus and Christianity that is attacked when a Christian falls.
but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with His finger.
How strange, Jesus, that you do not answer but write in the sand with Your finger. “It is written!” ? The pause before the answer? The pause and writing is the answer?
Like Satan quoted the Bible to you in the desert, Jesus, so they are quoting Moses’ law to You. Moses the man of God.
Jesus, you could be writing in the sand “Man shall not live on bread alone but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God” Matthew 4:4. Jesus, you are the word of God who came to put the new covenant in to the law of Moses. The law of God is to love the Lord our God and our neighbour; to forgive 70x7; to turn the other cheek; to repay evil with good; to leave the judgement to God; to bless those who curse you, to …
7They kept demanding an answer
It is a long pause here with you stooping down and writing in the sand.
so He stood up again and said, “All right (You agree with them, a sin is a sin BUT) but let the one who had never sinned throw the first stone!”
This answer makes me cry! It hits me as a sinner and it hits me as an accuser. Jesus, thank you so much.
8Then He stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
Oh the heart of God! It is written! The new covenant in Jesus’ blood! Know Jesus and you know God. “If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know Him and have seen Him” John 14:7. Father God, thank you for your goodness, your love and your faithfulness. I can live because my redeemer lives.
9When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, ( I am here.) until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman.
Alone: Jesus and the sinner. What do I say to You?
“Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge” Psalm 51:4.
10Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
11”No Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
Because of You, Jesus, I am now also a child of God. How do I thank You? I have nothing except what You give me. I can’t even give back to You what you give to me, if You don’t enable me. In You I have everything I need.
Thank You Father God, thank You Jesus, thank You Holy Spirit.

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Monday, 19 May 2014

Cancer 10 days of knowing and not knowing.

The Lord is always writing new testimonies in my life and just gets more and more dear and real to me. We serve an awesome God, and those are not just words.  I was diagnosed with cancer in the womb and I have ‘seen’ heaven’s door open (from descriptions in the Bible).  Hebrews 12: 22-24
The fear that it might have gone through the wall of the womb was extinguished after the hysterectomy results yesterday. The verses which I held out to Jesus in the throne room were all materialized.
Psalm 144:14 “May there be no enemy breaking through our walls.” (I prayed that the cancer would not have broken through the wall of the uterus.)
Malachi 4:2 “But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture.” (I had had a dream of hanging on to a very rocky peak mountain with all loose rocks but I was secure and not scared and was rescued. “He makes me surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights” Habakkuk 3:19.
John 11:4 the sickness was “For God’s glory, that God’s Son may be glorified through it” John 14:4.
“…for the Lord God fights for you, just as He has promised. So be very careful to love the Lord your God.” Joshua 23:10-11.
God brought me to the knowledge that dying would have been the ultimate healing; to be with Him and to see everything clearly. This rings so true for me: Philippians 1:21 “For to me, living means living for Christ (God chose this for me for now.) and dying is even better.” (for the time being, this is for later.)  So now I just want to get on and live out verse 22 “But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ.”
I wrote about the first part of this experience on my blog under diary. The hysterectomy that was done on Wednesday (30 April) and the results of the tests (5 May) are only written in my real diary, the diary next to the Bible where God and I have our discussions.  God set me free from the cancer.
My daughter came from London to care for me for 2 weeks until I have healed from the operation. I am healing in leaps and bounds.
I just wanted to share this with you. Just to put a light on where I am growing in Christ.
(So much more to share of Jesus’ wonderful presence while in hospital- watch this space!)
I do not share my sickness or my healing; I share Jesus!
I pray that you will know Him too!

The hospital stay

 3 Christians in a ward

The black ladies diabetes, the Indian ladies painful legs and the white ladies cancerous uterus brought the 3 together in one hospital ward.  All 3 are Christians.

I was there first. I was light from the heavy presence of the Holy Spirit. At this stage the cancer was a dominant ‘person’ mocking his possible invasion in to the rest of my body. I openly declared victory in death and life. Amen from my fellow Christians.

My two ‘inmates’ became larger than life as their pain and their lives became God’s priority. The throne rooms door opened and waited for the 3 of us to walk in. For a split second the remembrance of the ‘unchristian’ phone conversations of the Indian lady brought a flash against me from God’s throne.  I saw Luke 18: 9-14. The prayer of the Pharisee and Tax Collector.  I saw my cancer. If that Pharisee had had cancer, he would not have been proud in prayer. One person is not more knowledgeable before God than another. God meets us where we are.   I prayed:


Father, we come to You today; a black lady, an Indian lady and a white lady. And You, Lord, through Jesus’ blood, only see 3 Jesus ladies standing before You.

We come to ask for healing. The diabetic, the painful legs and the possible cancer.

We come in Your name, and we go in Your name. Take us Lord and be glorified in these 3 lives.

Let Jesus live and talk through us so that others will see and hear and believe.

I pray in Jesus name.


Even there in hospital the diversity of our beautiful country brought joy to my life. These precious individuals moving from bed to bed cleaning, nursing and smiling as a profession. God is good.
I tugged then all in to my prayer diary for there and now. One special prayer that jumped on the front cover is for Lindelani Khoza.  Mrs Koza’s (the diabetic) heart is crying for his salvation and freedom in Christ. 

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2)  Oh yes, I did. My sickness surely glorified God.  Well almost. Two not nice occasions when it was plain to see that my strength is from God and not from me.

Despair, hid under my bed and put on its suction and almost pulled me through the mattress like a heap of dirt. It was when I took my eyes off Jesus. What if there is no Jesus and I die and I don’t go to be with Him? I cried out to Him. “Lord, what do you do with your children that doubt?”  The same as he did to Thomas in John 2:27. He will show me his nail pierced hand and let me touch it with my finger. And if I need more prove he will put my finger in to his side.  He will never leave me. He has made provision for my weaknesses and His Holy Spirit will always be there to guide me in such a real way as for me to exclaim “My Lord and my God!”

People with a hospital chart like mine had no place in hospital. So my doctor ordered me out of the hospital one day sooner.

The arrival at home was not a happy one. Easter, my dog, wanted to get in under my skin and I wanted to hide in the cubbyhole of the car. With her locked up I could shuffle up to the house and the bedroom.  Then, one hairs width away from running and jumping on to my wounded tummy I screamed out. The scream stopped her in time for me to put a pillow in front and for Peter to expect my intestines to be lying on the floor. Panic and shock and pandemonium. I should have been in hospital.

No matter which direction I approached my bed from the pain would get me as I tried to get on or off.

Then Kim arrived from London the next day and the world was all sunny and healthy and nothing was too much. I even ventured in to the car and sat through the bumps to go and make my voters mark. It was a good feeling voting for the Christian party.




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Sunday, 27 April 2014

If I die, this is where I am going.

(also when I pray, this is the throne room I enter!)
Hebrews 12:22-26           
<No, you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God,
<the heavenly Jerusalem,
<and to countless thousands of angels in a joyful gathering.
<You have come to the assembly of God’s firstborn children, whose names are written in heaven.
<You have come to God Himself who is judge over all things.
  You have come to the spirits of the righteous ones in heaven who have now been made perfect.
<You have come to Jesus, the one who mediates the new covenant between God and people,
<And to the sprinkled blood, which speaks of forgiveness instead of crying out for vengeance like the blood of Abel.
25Be careful that you do not refuse to listen to the One who is speaking. For if the people of Israel did not escape when they refused to listen to Moses, the earthly messenger, we will certainly not escape if we reject the One who speaks to us from heaven! 26When God spoke from Mount Sinai His voice shook the earth, but now He makes another promise: “Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.” 27This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain.
28Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping Him with holy fear and awe. 29For our God is a devouring fire.

John 6:40 For it is My Father's will that all who see His Son and believe in Him should have eternal life.

Good bye
I broke through this world’s barrier and walked out as if saying good buy.  You can’t miss the sea when you come round the corner of the house on the way to the car.  Undoubtedly the ocean has been my best bank balance on this side. I just shrunk my shoulders: You know what, Ocean, where I am going you fade out like mist before the sun. No eye has seen and no ear has heard the beauty my Lord has in store for me.  Thanks but no thanks. You cannot press my looking back button. 
Manna, my car, made it easy with his grinding mock on my inability to start a car.  I admit that here I could not live without you, Manna, but there your claim to fame will be that God used Joanie to bless me when you were my gift. Where I am going my transport is the wind and the clouds and the rays of our shining Lord. I will be wherever I will be, and it will be a glorious being.
Walking the busy shopping centre lifted me just enough off the floor for only me to know I was elated.  The countless walks of buying nothings and somethings  made me so excited about where I was going.  No more busyness with perishables. For old time sake I put my spiritual hands over each shopper as I passed them and wished them enormous blessings from God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I truly must love you, Lord. I am not attached to anything.  People, yes. But people will join me in eternity which is forever. The choice is theirs.
(I must be seen as a freak Lord. But whatever I am, I never ever, ever want to be a lukewarm Christian.)
Now I can think rational. When the pain comes and I am out of it, I know, Father God, that You will be carrying me.


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